Coleridge, Sara (1802-1852). - Letter, from 10 Chester Place (?), to Edward Quillinan (1791-1851) (from contents), at an unstated address, dated c.1850 (from contents). WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 55. WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 56 is the third sheet of this letter and so included here.

My dear Friend

I wish that a gold pen would make writings golden like yours; I would soon buy one then - though I am far from having money to spend on superfluities - I feel as if I could not tell what might or might not be wanted for Herbert at Balliol and am therefore more cautious than if I could calculate more exactly - He is now turning from child into man and all the habits and requisitions are in a transitional state.

I am unusually low & unwell today, but from a temporary cause, and should not select this dull uncom-

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comfortable time to write to you, if it were not that I write to notice at once your very kind proposal. Edith tells every body that she is going to visit Mr. Quillinan at the Lakes this summer But how is her journey to be arranged? I feel now as if it were impossible that I could ever accomplish the visit to Eccleshall. A little while ago I thought that from Staffordshire Edith might proceed to the Lakes, - yet I do not think that even from Eccleshall or from Tettanhill Wood near Wolverhampton she could go on without an escort.

As for me I do not think it possible that I could visit the Lakes

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this year though I certainly must take a house at K hereafter for a summer season - My desire is to be quite alone by the sea-side - with only a servant or two of my three domestics - in order that I may, if possible, get into a more natural state of nerves. Want of sleep induced the use of opium, and as is commonly the case, an increased quantity was required, as time went on to produce the desired effect. I now am wholly sleepless on one night - that on which I take the heavy dose - but quiet not turning restlessly from side to side - On the next night I sleep heavily, & wake very relaxed and uncomfortable. A small dose of morphine is necessary before this heavy sleep to prevent me from feeling quite powerless and good for nothing. Now I begin to be very anxious gradually to reduce the

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morphine - which is at present far too much. But in London - especially on the children's account, there is such constant call for exertion, that it is almost impossible to effect a change which must cause me not only great misery of feeling, but for a time, till the nerves have recovered their tone & natural spring, great incapacity and feebleness. You will think I ought to commence the reformation immediately, in spite of everything - But even if I were weaned of the habit & had required a natural state, this would be far below my present state of strength and comfortable sensations.

I should sleep every night but never sleep soundly; interrupted sleep every night would not sustain me as does

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2) the long trance of entire self forgetfulness which I now have once in the 48 hours. I wish to leave off the drug not from the present inconvenience or suffering, but from anticipation of some evil to the brain, I do not think however that medical men in general, who talk on the subject, sufficiently consider the injury to the vital parts which must be produced by a continual deficiency of sleep, especially in a frame like mine. I ought to sleep seven hours at least every night, and that soundly - But not half that quantity of sleep will be my portion without morphine. I was saying to Edith last night that my medical attendant who now so regrets my use of morphine, himself brought me into it. By his advice I strove to

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do without it. I returned from the sea-side having been entirely abstinent for the last week - but never sleeping well. He saw me, was alarmed at my appearance, & himself urged my trying the morphine again. Fifteen drops he prescribed. From that time to this (it was in the summer of 1843-) I have never been able to leave it off. The time which he hoped would soon come, never arrived. Dr Prichard, who is so great a loss to the philosophy of the medical science, told me that opium did very little harm where the constitution was so unstable as to require it. This remark was bound on a principle and on insight - still I do not rest upon it wholly - Men of scientific genius are apt to say bold things & the saying, as they put it, may be true, and yet it may somehow mislead, because when, we attempt to apply it, because the conditions which it supposes may not be present - pure and unmodified. But I am going away

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3) from the practical, which I had in my mind when I took up the pen.

I hope that you will come to London with one of your daughters either before or after Edith's visit - and spend some weeks with us. Perhaps this would be best on Edith's return from the North and then she could have your escort home from the Lakes. I write now to tell you all the state we are in, but of these circumstances and thoughts and plans some nice arrangement may perhaps be framed.

When Herbert is at home I would not have you in so much comfort as when he is away. There would be sleeping room but only for one. I propose one daughter accompanying you because I think although Jemima & Rotha might occupy one bed, yet I could not with my limited powers of procuring entertainment for young people, manage about this so well for three as for two.

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But I dare say, if you liked to bring both the dear girls away from home, you have plenty of other friends in town with whom one could be deposited, while the sister gave us her company here. I often think of that little visit of my dear husband and me on our way to Dover, when Jemima received us so kindly and nicely.

Mrs Green of Sedbergh - says in a note - "We have a most delightful notice of the late Mr HN Coleridge & yourself in the National Cyclopaedia Vol 4 - which if you have not seen I am sure is worth your reading." What an odd thing to write lives in this way about every creature connected with literature no leave asked or claim possessed of any sort!

I wish I could tell you that Derwent was getting on with the edition of Hartley's poems & with the Memoir - I am sadly afraid that the former will be kept back on account of the latter. This will be a sad pity. For a year or so after an author's decease there is an expectation in the public mind & a special interest - if that is let to die away it cannot be revived.

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Staffordshire visit is arranged, Herbert will probably spend great part of his summer vacation some where in the country. With kind love to J.Q. and my most affectionate remembrances to Mr & Mrs Wordsworth.

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I am your's ever faithfully

Sara Coleridge

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Object summary: WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 55