Coleridge, Sara (1802-1852). - Letter, from St Mark's College, Chelsea to Edward Quillinan (1791-1851) (from contents), at an unstated address, dated 8 October 1850 (year from contents). WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 70.

St Mark's College

Chelsea

Tuesday Oct 8-

My dear Friend

It is arranged betwixt my brother Derwent and me; partly on my account, and partly on his own, with several objects of pleasure & profit, as I trust that he should take a Northern excursion of about a week's length and bring Edith home at the end of it - He would go to Penrith, Herbert to see Dr Stolliforst - seeing Caldbeck probably, thence to Plumbland, to see Cuthbert and Aunt Lovell, thence to Kate at Keswick, to Rydal for two or three days. Thus I thankfully

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accept your hospitality to my dear girl for a good many days longer - I suppose, till the middle of next week.

Many many thanks to you for all the enjoyment and benefit of this long Northern sojourn to my Edith. It has been in many ways a most fortunate arrangement, and will I dare say prove the source of much happiness to her in her future life. She has now an interest in Rydal and my native vale and even in places North of them which I never visited and she will be far more drawn to them in time to come than if she had not learned their peculiar

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character of loveliness in early life; and become early acquainted with their present inhabitants.

As to my state of health, it is best perhaps now to be more explicit than I have hitherto been. The tumour is not like dear Kates, because it is chronic. The doctors say it may remain in its present stage and never do any further mischief - such tumours do last 10, 20, 30 years & make no progress. But it might - if my general health fall fell into a certain state, prove dangerous.

Sir B.B. wished at first to perform an operation. He

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told my brother it would not be more formidable in reality - than a tooth drawing. Now he concurs with JH Green and Newton, that it is best to let it quite alone - keeping watch over my general health and the local symptoms. I would thankfully make up my mind to an operation, the pain of which chloroform would, in all probability, quite overpower. I hear of many persons going through it quite successfully & with no shock to the general health. But I believe my state of nerves presents a great difficulty.

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2) Mrs: Jacobson, Mrs DC's aunt, had a tumour for 30 years & died of old age at 80.

On first becoming acquainted with all that I now tell you I sank into a state of nerves which alarmed Mr Newton. I could not eat or sleep - even as well as I had been doing before. - I had been still worse in former times. But he had never seen me so depressed. I am now rallying, and last night, for the first time this fortnight, I slept soundly at night.

I have a great many sensations in the part part and about it some times warmth - often a sense of swelling &

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fullness and tightness sometimes slight[ drawings ]spasms & nips & pinches as it were - and generally a feeling that there is something not right - something extraneous within me on that side - The doctors say these feelings must be nervous - for the tumour is stationary to all appearance - it does not increase, in size and there is no inflammation.

I am wearing a mercurial mercurial plaster - and medicated cotton about the place - eider down is to be substituted for the cotton and I am much more dependent in dressing &c than ever before. My dress is loosened. It was never tight . I am not allowed to raise my right arm over my head to dress

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my hair - nor to make any exertion which can strain the muscles on that side.

Writing is permitted - They say it concerns that concerns chiefly the wrist and arm and need not strain the side, except by awkward management.

I said to Mr Green "May it not disperse of itself?" He said - "it may." But I can see that this is considered very improbable - not the usual course for such an affection to take. I hear of tumours dispersing after remaining for several years, but I am not medically encouraged to look to the termination of my malady.

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I cannot tell yet how far my state will operate in making me an invalid in habits. I can walk out - but I cannot at present bear to be at Church nor could I dine out, though the medical men have never forbidden it, and wish me to do whatever cheers & amuses without fatigue & with the avoidance of all local strain or pressure.

I may feel more assured if time goes on & neither the ailment increases nor my general strength declines. But at present I cannot go into society, and am therefore the more thankful for my dear girl's increased independence of me in this respect.

On her account I deeply grieve for my increased invalidism - not altogether unselfishly, for what can

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3) be so interesting to one at my time of life, personally so fallen into the sere & yellow leaf; (all at my age must be so - in a very strong sense and my weak nerves seem to double this decline of life enjoying vigour) as to see a dear child youthful course going on smoothly & happily not only in home circle but in the gay social assembly! But, as our great departed one used to say, "All things are less dreadful than they seem - " In a little time we fall into the new mode of life,

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and feel content. A state of struggle and suspense is one of continuous pain - But nature is very merciful, as long as she can be, and always tries to adjust & compensate and tranquillize. - I have been walking out with Derwent. He has changed his plan a little - will go to Carlisle instead of Penrith - thence to Plumbland - But his coming to Rydal will be on Monday as aforesaid.

Our beloved Miss Fenwick

has been to me a perfect angel - I will tell you more of her kindness another time - she is - as to her whole woman - unique - a sort of moon - I think amid the starry multitude of kind good women.

Mr de Vere's substantial friendliness I mentioned to you I think before -

I am rich in friends - real friends, You have long been one - and yet I feel as if you had become twice as much so of late as ever before. I feel soothed

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and cheered by my stay here - amid so much affection - such perfect intimacy, & such perfectly comfortable pleasant accommodation - My room cheerful airy & warm with every comfort.

God bless you I must conclude in haste Yours very faithfully Sara Coleridge

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cant read over.

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Object summary: WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 70