Clarkson, Catherine (1772-1856). - Letter, from 16 Earl Street, Blackfriars, to Dorothy Wordsworth (1771-1855), at Rydal Mount, Kendal, dated 16 March 1818. WLL / Clarkson, Thomas / 20.

16 Earl Street Blackfriars

16 March 1818

My dearest friend,

I thought when I first came here this day fortnight that I should have many a half hour when Tom was sleeping that I should be glad to employ in writing to you but I have been kept so constantly on the alert & have besides been so overwrought that I have hardly been able to write letters of absolute necessity. You have been told perhaps that I did not come to Town till 5 or 6 days after it was known that my poor child had the small Pox. At first we were informed that he had been ill with a bilious attack - then Mr. Allen wrote to say that he observed some pimples on his face which led him to suppose he might have the chicken or swine Pox. Then we were informed that he had the small Pox but of a very mild fine sort - My Brother Clarkson was in Town on Wednesday Tuesday before I came up & went home on the Thursday Wednesday after giving us the information that he was doing as well as possible. My good Sister C. would come up on the Tuesday Thursday to see him & well it was that she did for by this time the poor creature was in a dreadful state. His Head swelled to an enormous size & his throat & nostrils so filled with small Pox that he seemed in danger of suffocation - She wrote to me to say she would do all she could for him but that she wished me to come up. I cd. not persuade my Husband to let me come on the Saturday but my Brother & Sister wrote peremptorily for me on the Sunday & on Monday I & Elizabeth came - He had been very bad on the Saturday but was getting a little better when I saw him but he had a sad turn with the secondary fever the following Sat: & Sunday & his body was completely excoriated by the bursting of the postules - I had three or four hours work dabbing with milk & water before his shirt could be removed & the Stench was so dreadful that I was completely poisoned by it. It occasioned violent retchings & ended in a Diarrhea - Elizabeth who took my place was seized in the same way but by the time she got very bad I was better. Now that the small Pox is going off he is afflicted with boils in various parts of his body & these are more offensive even than the small Pox matter but we are pretty well seasoned to it

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now. How long this is to last I cannot guess but the medical man says they will do him good & prevent greater mischief as the matter must go somewhere & nothing more likely than that it should have fallen on his lungs if it had not shewn itself in this way. He has now been near a month in Bed - for eight days & nights he never closed his eyes to sleep - yet his head never was discomposed & nothing could exceed his patience. Happily for himself he was not aware of the nature of his disease till all danger was over. I hope never to witness such suffering again.

Had I known what I was to encounter I should not have had the courage to come alone - dearest Sara would fain have come with me but I thought my Husband would not like to be alone & further we had heard that Mrs. Luff was in London & only waiting for the arrival of her luggage to get off to Playford. What a difference does a change of circumstances make in ones feelings! - A short time ago I thought I could not bear to meet her in London yet under the pressure of this calamity it was a comfort to think of seeing any one who would sympathize with me. Poor Creature I was quite astonished at seeing her for though she trembled & looked exceeding pale she was so much improved in health & flesh that it was quite affecting to think how she has flourished whilst her dear Husband has been mingling with his mother earth alas! not his native earth but under the hot [[-?-]] Soil that killed him. She spent the day & night with me last Tuesday & went to Playford on the wednesday where she arrived safe. She has brought home 3000£ besides upwards of five hundred with pounds wh. the Governor has allowed her being the difference of a Captns. & Majors allowance for [[?]] as it is called - His successor enjoys the same & as the money is pd. I have no doubt that Ld. Bathurst will allow it. She has petitioned for a pension but that I think very a very doubtful matter - She may be comfortable I think though after living in The Governors House in eastern magnificence & luxury she may not be so well prepared for humble & moderate living. She looks ten years younger than I do & I am only 2 years the elder. I envy those who can Talk over their afflictions & weep freely. This is her case. She wears his dressing

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gown & his slippers & calls him poor Tim as if he were not dead but only absent on a journey. My Brother John took her to Coleridge's Lecture the Evening before her departure - She went to speak to him but he did not recollect her - He knew her face he said but could not recollect her name. Seeing her without Luff I suppose gave him a suspicion that he was dead for he said who may I enquire after - "ask no questions she said & he whispered to my Brother "is Luff dead?" "Where was she" with Mrs C who was nursing Tom in the small Pox - Was Miss Hutchinson with her - no - she is at Playford whither I am going to morrow morning - "Playford! where is Playford? Where Mr. Clarkson lives - an Enquiry was then made for my address & Hartley was desired to note it down & he said he should call upon me. I hope he will not - for I am sure it would give me no pleasure to see him & I would rather be spared the sickening pain of hearing of hearing of miseries in which I cannot sympathize & of protestations in which I cannot believe. I should like to see Hartley but I don't think it wd. be wise to send to him. So all Shall take its natural course & if C. comes he shall see me only in Tom's room & I shall tell him that we make a point of conscience of letting no one touch us.

Indeed after what we have suffered we cannot be too careful not to endanger others. I don’t know how it happened that of late all fears of the small Pox had so completely vanished from my mind for I was far from being satisfied that Tom had passed through it by innoculation but Dr H – felt entire confidence that he was safe. He had no eruption nor any illness but what the medicine would account for. The first time we had him in London he caught the chicken Pox & that quieted me a little because I thought he might as easily have taken the small Pox for we did not know that he had been exposed to the infection of chicken Pox & he has been so often in London & in other large Towns that for the last ten years I have been quite easy about him. It has been a terrible visitation but I rejoice to say that he has supported his sufferings with the most inflexible courage & the greatest patience. I hope & trust that in the end it will benefit both body & mind. He has often been merry – never sad – At one time he was Tybalt Festering in the Vault only Tybalt festered after he was dead but he festered

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alive. I hope that a few more days will set us forward a little though I fear that as fast as these boils break others will appear. How ever if they come in convenient places so as we can get him out of bed I shall not mind but besides the wearisomeness of it it is impossible that he should recover strength till he can sit up a little.

Tuesday He has had but little sleep in the night I hear but he sends me word that some of the boils are broken. If I had but a little more strength I should get on well but it is very unlucky that nobody thought of informing my Brother John of his illness till he was past moving else he would have had him nursed at his own House - Here we have all the trouble of housekeeping as well as attending upon him

It is now afternoon we have had a wearisome day but I hope I shall get him out of Bed by & by - Write to me my dear friend for we have only letters to entertain us - They were all well at Playford the day before yesterday - Perhaps I have mentioned this before but I had have no time to read over what I have written & I am not sure that you will understand it. Kindest love to all

Ever & Ever most affectionately your's C. Clarkson

To

Miss Wordsworth

Rydal Mount

Kendal

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Object summary: WLL / Clarkson, Thomas / 20