Coleridge, Sara (1802-1852). - Letter, from Greta Hall, to Elizabeth Crumpe, at Allan Bank, dated 19 May 1826. WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 12.

Greta hall

May 19 1826.

My dear Elizabeth

Edith told me on her return from Rydal that you kindly purposed writing to me, this prevented me from discharging my epistolary debt to you before, as I thought your letter might contain matter which would require an answer, & I have not as much time for communicating with my friends in this way as some persons enjoy beside that my correspondents are rather numerous. You however, my dear friend, well deserve a share of my leisure & eye-sight; for your affectionate feelings towards me & mine & warm interest in those who have but little claim to it from you are extremely affecting both toward my mother & myself. I fear this will be but a gloomy stupid letter, for I can think of nothing but poor dear infatuated Hartley, of whom however I will refrain from writing as lamentations can do no good, & can only serve to distress your affectionate heart: there certainly is a sort of pleasure in complaining, especially when one is sure of sympathy, as I think I am from you; - the anxiety, mortification & disappointment which I have had to endure on account of my brother ever since the sad affair at Oriel are such as you can easily imagine, but I ought not to think of my feelings; - those of a mother must of course be more poignant, and when I think what an anxious, perturbed, life my deserving mother has led ever since her marriage, which took place after a childhood & youth of many sorrows & disquietudes, I ask myself what right I have to expect happiness in this life, or what likelihood there is of my obtai-

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ning it; you will perhaps think I indulge in too desponding a strain, and that one source of grief & care ought not to render me forgetful of all the blessings & advantages I enjoy; but my dear friend, no one can tell how much or how painfully the shoe pinches except the wearer, & the consciousness of this has of late rendered me extremely cautious how I accused persons of impatience or fretfulness who appeared to have but very inadequate causes for their dejection: from childhood I have had frequent subjects of despondency sufficient to throw a cloud over spirits naturally not very buoyant, but since my return from the South one anxiety and disappointment has been constantly succeeding to another, - my tears were no sooner dried than they were again forced to flow. All this is must appear very weak-minded & childish, but remember dearest, it is for your friendly tolerating eye alone; some time or other, when time shall have brought happier days, or rendered me callous or at least (what is better) resigned, I hope you & I shall meet, & then I will tell you the causes of all my past troubles, & you shall judge whether I have not had some trials.

Yours' my dear friend I rejoice to find are compensated by your present happiness; - long long may it continue! You do not mentioned when the excellent person to whom you have yielded your heart is to be blessed with your hand, but Report (your dreaded enemy,) says that this is to take place in the Autumn; as for external attractions in a man they may well be dispensed with: - they do some thing toward accelerating a conquest but nothing toward re-curing it: miserable indeed is the state of that man or woman whose hopes of domestic bliss are built on that sandy foundation, which every day & hour render more & more unsteady; I declare I think it is almost better to be married for money than elegance or beauty; the one will last to keep your partner in good humoured, whereas

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the frail fleeting nature of the other must render the possessor constantly uneasy, lest time should rob them of the [[?]] which alone retains the affections of their unworthy lover.

I was pleased too to hear that your brother had made so happy a choice & sorry for the accident which delayed his felicity: - poor Hartley's peculiarities of character & person, together with his want of this world's [gear] or steadiness to obtain it, have shut him out from all prospect of domestic comfort of this kind, which to one so fond of female society must be a sad heart-sore, & perhaps has contributed to render him more wild & wayward & reckless of consequences than he might have been had he the stimulus of hope to urge him to diligence & self-restraint: yet even this [can only]palliate his conduct which to my mother, (& still more in some respects) to myself is extremely injurious, but let me not enter again upon this painful subject but proceed to thank you for your very kind invitations, which however I fear I shall not be able to accept. I was sorry to hear from Edith that you are not likely to visit this neighbourhood, as I cannot bear the thought of your returning to Liverpool without [[-?-]] my having enjoyed a little of your society; as it will hardly be possible for me to accept your kind invitation to visit you at Allan-Bank: I do not like to leave my young pupils on the eve of so long an absence from home, & other avocations beside teaching would render it inconvenient for me to be away just now and indeed the neighbourhood of Ambleside would be far from agreeable to me just now at this time, on account of poor Hartley's behaviour. Your other proposal of accompanying you to Liverpool, I have been thinking a great deal of, & should like exceedingly to accept; though I cannot decide upon this at present, & I suppose it is not necessary for me to let you know whether I can go with you or not till within a short time of your departure; mama does not much like the uncertainty respecting an escort from Liverpool, & we cannot ascertain whether there are any coaches from that place to London which

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sleep on the road - two-day coaches as mama calls them: this I should like to be informed about - perhaps you could send word by Miss Hutchinson. It is most provoking that I cannot ride all night like other people; which mode I should infinitely prefer, on many accounts, especially as I am not afraid of general fatigue, as my health is stronger at present than it ever was before. but nearly two years ago I had a fit of lumbago, occasioned by a jolting ride on a brute of a poney, & ever since that time any very long walks or continuance in one posture, especially sitting; for many hours, brings on a pain & stiffness, which would be extremely unpleasant indeed on a journey: I know of a lady who never travels by night & thinks of going to town from the North in 6 or 7 weeks: she has offered to be my escort, unless circumstances, which may probably happen, interrupt her plans: if she decides upon going from this place by the coach I must not neglect the opportunity of such an escort. - If she goes from Black Pool, where she may perhaps be obliged to stay, she might take me up at Liverpool, where I should be most happy to accompany you & endeavour to supply the place of your sister to you. When I can ascertain more about the movements of the lady I mentioned I will let you know what is settled: and if I cannot visit you this summer I hope my dear Elizabeth; when you are a married dame you will retain your old friendships & remember your old invitations; for I have not forgotten that you once expressed a wish to entertain me in a house of your own. My married friend Mrs Stanger wishes me to accompany her father in law in October from Keswick to town, when she will

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be settled once more in Lansdown Place after her country visit. - & this on several accounts would suit me better, than leaving home sooner, so that if other schemes fail [[heavily crossed out writing]] this is the one I must have recourse to; [[-?-]]: still I should like to visit you at Liverpool, & some time or other I do hope I shall be able to do so. Pray remember me most kindly to Mrs Crumpe & your sisters. Sophia must be much changed since I saw her quite a child at Allan Bank. My eyes are still very weak & mama is uneasy at my scribbling so long. I must therefore hasten to conclude, assuring you my dearest Elizabeth, that I shall ever remain your very affectionate friend Sara Coleridge.

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I hope dear Dora may not be disappointed with regard to the building scheme. Mr: Wordsworth seems to be going on very sure ground & will not plunge into brick & mortar with the inconsideration of many foolish people. Are you not sorry for the poor Whites? Adieu Ma chère. I hear from the Wordsworths that Sophia's namesake & [[?]] bosom-friend, Miss Lloyd is quite one of the Belles of Paris. The news about her brother is not very satisfactory.

Miss E. Crumpe

Allan Bank.

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Object summary: WLMS A / Coleridge, Sara / 12