Jewsbury, Maria Jane (1800-1833). - Letter, from Kendal, to Dora Wordsworth (1804-1847), at an unstated address, dated late June 1829. WLMS A / Jewsbury, Maria Jane / 19.

<Kendal>

<late June 1829> <?June 23> Tuesday Night 10 o'clock

My own dearest Dora,

I have been a dead thing all day - & I am exceedingly weary now - yet I cannot retire without commencing another letter to you. - I took up today a paper I had not seen since I read it to you - it made my heart sick - & the talking all day - well - night is come - thinking time is come: These Quakers are really most improving people - they perform the duties of life without talking about them - I don't say how long I should be amongst them without ennui - at present they are a new study - tomorrow I go to their Meeting - being anxious to acquaint myself with their forms as I now can without improperly manifesting curiosity. A long argument tonight on their alledged suppression of feeling - unwilling to allow it - say that hysterics are rarer amongst their women - fainting fits from emotion - not uncommon - regret that they do not associate more with us - Quaker Mother if originally feeling - charming - your Mother brought often to my mind -[ I] Coleridge often & often -

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interesting child here - 4 years old - so full of poetry battle poetry - is will ask to be read to sleep with it - can repeat more than a score pages of the Lay of the Last Minstrel - picked up from hearing it continually repeated by an interesting girl - his cousin - an orphan adopted by his father along with two other orphans - she is most interesting - naturally pensive & fond of nothing but reading - now, under the influence of principle, & gratitude now that her Uncle's circumstances are changed, works like a little servant, in the nursery, & in the Kitchen, busy as a bee, & cheerful as a lark - retains her love of literature, yet gives up its indulgence so voluntarily, that it appears no sacrifice. She is though only 15 - quite a stay to the family, a slender, soft eyed, frail looking creature - has preached me a good sermon already - Goodnight My Own - Would you saw the heart that says so.

Wednesday Night [Day] of Quaker presentations - astonished at two things - how well the Friends do with me - & I with them - touched into good resolutions by my universal reception - calm-browed bright eyed matrons - press my hand & bid "God bless me-" send for their children & introduce me as a lover of the young - the young look kindly in my face - tea tonight with the Crewdsons - inlaid

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& ornamented quakers - handsome & lofty rooms - painted ceiling - plate - alabaster vases - engravings the Annuals - elegancies - & costlinesses withal chaste & sober - a dash of literary enthusiasm - interesting interest about Rydal Mount - quite at home amongst my Friends here - young men & girls amphibious looking - matrons enchanting - Good Night again my own - tomorrow I shall hear from - you; - talking to Mrs. C - has strangely carried me back to you. She & her husband are nice as well as kind people. Have had my sympathies excited as usual -[[-?-]]young woman living in the house who has gone through more than one operation - cancer removed - going to Carlisle to have another operation performed - sad tho' slighter - lonely being - none one going with her - & going to a strange doctor - naturally frail & dependent - by God's grace & circumstances strengthened into from a willow into a cedar - read me a sermon by her silent cheerfulness - never felt how lonely & cheerless a lot may be, as where I, a stranger, was told that my sympathy, & desire to know her ultimate fate, could strengthen & console! Father of Mercies - & God of Consolation, shall I ever presume to fret & grieve again! - ever about any thing!-----

Thursday Morning - 8 o'clock - your letter - & tears - & thoughts of too dark a character for last night's resolution - strange to say, I shall

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feel leaving Kendal a renewal of grief - whilst I can send a packet for 1d - I feel as if I were not, could not be, far from you - I leave tomorrow morning - oh do write to me at Lancaster - My own, my own, - do not love me if it makes you sad - love me just as much as loving assists your happiness - no more - & love in hope, in the expectation of reunion - You will travel south - then I shall see you - I shall travel North - then - With regard to health - we must trust - & let the worst come to the worst - years of separation - we know that the human heart must, & does, strangely get above the dominion of grief - the past will soon give pleasure only - bright will be our recollections soon - & sweet even now are our troubled thoughts, for they are troubled by the angel of affection. Besides, come what may to me, it will be some comfort to think that you are shielded, & pleasantly embowered as it were, amongst such friends, & in such a home. - I know that "many love me -" so many, that I feel lovely - & I find love a plant of such easy growth that whilst I cannot exist without it - whilst I am miserably dependent on looks & tones & letters - I do not sufficiently esteem it, or apply it to its high & honourable use - moral improvement. But your love my own - & one or two more affections, are enshrined - [enshrined]

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in my heart - stars not clouds - imbedded like rocks - not plants. Yes, my dearest, my deservedly dear Dora - I do thank you for your constancy - but how the 4 years have deepened you - your letters written under the influence of parting sorrow then - are different - they are stronger in expression - but less matured - to me less precious - You will not be [extreme] to mark incoherencies of expression in this - you will not think "jug jug" comes too often - Oh let me have it too - again, & again - I go to Lancaster tomorrow morning - I shall be glad to get there - there I am [[-?-]] at ease - & may give way - here I dare not. I shall be at L. about a week - I will write to you thence - as I know you have much to do - I will write first - & soon - then you must reply to me after my own heart! - I have not felt so well here - but shall feel better when once thoroughly away from you -

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Have had no letters from any one - want none - Oh my own love farewell - begin a letter - & write a little now & then, so that it may never interfere with the family cry of "Dora - Dora." God bless you I have said nothing - grateful love to your father & mother - Letters are a great deal. - Will write Monday or Tuesday from Lancaster - so be preparing an answer - Ever Ever Your's - M.J.J.

I have not thanked you for this your letter - but my heart does - it makes me quite rich & almost happy - my own dear love. - Too tired for the meeting.

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Your sunset was splendid here - I sat watching it - wondering whether you were doing so -

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Object summary: WLMS A / Jewsbury, Maria Jane / 19